Vale Donald Bruce McFadyen

Donald, never a Donald but Bruce

Uncle Bruce (you can drop the uncle bit, makes me feel old)

Duck Duck Bruce (later Donald Duck Duck)

Let’s stick to Bruce!

Bruce was born in Chatswood Sydney 1937 (but he liked it known that he was conceived in Pago Pago, Samoa)

Eulogy

By Jim McFadyen

Definition of Eulogy is ‘words praising a person who has recently died.’

I don’t reckon we need a Eulogy. I reckon we need something more befitting Bruce. Sure, there are lots of praises but many more stories of a life very well lived…a celebration of his amazing life.

No doubt we will all share many, many stories of Bruce today – he would have had it no other way – a stack of his friends and family having a wine and a yarn, a lifelong recipe that served Bruce well. No doubt there will be tears but there will also be laughter and, as we reminisce, let’s also share a story and a wine or two!

Bruce had four siblings, Kath, Colin, Ralph and the last man standing, Uncle Alec.

They were all separated by two years – except Bruce, who gave his mum a much-needed three-year break, before he came along in 1937.

I’m sure everyone knows that Bruce was an architect. He also dabbled in accountancy but design was his passion. Apart from his paid projects during pre-island life, Bruce designed many buildings for the Island residents usually presented to him scribbled on a chip packet or a bowling club beer coaster. For Bruce, buildings had a heart and a soul, none more than his beloved Barn. He loved nothing more than fixing a sheet of drawing paper to the drafting board, getting out the very fine pens and straight edges (rulers) to bring someone’s ideas to life, generally free-of-charge. It was a gift that he freely shared the LHI community, pro bono at its best.

Speaking of Lord Howe Island, Kerry’s birthplace, what a huge part it played in Bruce’s life! As a young single bloke Bruce decided it was time for a holiday. He often spoke of his envy toward his older brother Colin for being born and raised, for a few years, in Samoa. Bruce tells the story of a local villager named Arko, who took young Colin under his wing, raising him in the Samoan tradition. Bruce was especially envious of Colin’s fishing adventures with Arko on a traditional outrigger boat.

So, Bruce walked into a travel agent simply stating he was eager for an island holiday. What are the chances that the agent suggested LHI – and why not stay at Pinetrees too. His fate was sealed right there and then!

During breakfast, served on the Pinetrees veranda, he watched intently as his future ‘goddess’ walked past the diners as she returned from her morning chores tending to the swine pen! He often said that, even covered in pig poo, Kerry was the most gorgeous girl he had ever seen. He never looked back, they would spend the next 60+ years together with their kids, Kate and Andrew, adding to the pack.

In 1976, it was time to return to run one of the most successful guest houses on the Island – Pinetrees Lodge. They ran the it with professionalism, care, tonnes of personality and genuine hospitality, resulting in a large number of regular guests becoming great mates. It didn’t matter whether you were a politician, a movie star or a punter, you were treated like royalty under their watch. The hospitality was old style and authentic. The guests loved it …so unique, so special, it became something of a legend.

Bruce was also a great story teller. There was, of course, the occasional correction by his wife with the photographic memory, who also identified that the story ‘may’ have been told before. However, the intended audience would always listen intently. Maybe it was not so much about the content but how Bruce painted the picture. The banter between B and K during the story telling only added to the theatre…it was p r i c e l e s s!

OK it’s true that Bruce may have repeated one or two of his life stories. However, even when you have heard that same story many, many, many times, amazingly it remained just as interesting. Not many story tellers can pull that one off!

Bruce loved his stories and loved his architecture – but not nearly as much as he loved, no adored, his family. His soul mate, Kerry, along with Kate and Andrew…well, they were his world. ‘Soul mate’ is often a word we flip around these days, but I reckon if we looked it up in the dictionary, we might find a picture of Bruce and Kerry holding hands.

Whatever synonym you choose – inseparable, joined-at-the-hip, desperate to be together – the relationship between Bruce and Kerry was the most intense any of us have seen. He told me a couple of weeks ago, when I asked how he was going, knowing full well he was not good, he simply cast one of his signature wry smiles and said, “I am sleeping next to the most beautiful woman in the world… I’m great” followed by his infectious chuckle.

Kerry recently flew off Lord Howe courtesy of the RFDS. Bruce insisted on seeing Kerry off at the airport where he got out of the car, and wheeled his chair over to the ambulance, which was about to drive onto the tarmac to meet the plane. With all his strength, he raised his hand and took hold of Kerry’s hand. There wasn’t much said – nor did there need to be. Their love…was immense! The relief nurse, a young girl who was at Kerry’s side, struggled to deal with what she witnessed. She turned away and sobbed, stunned by the love obviously shared between these two. Everyone smiled, and Kerry was off. Bruce was lost without Kerry…

Bruce did follow on his own RFDS flight several days later, and he had the nurses at RPA in stitches as they recounted the first ever genuine request for wine service during a RFDS flight. Humour was his forte. A few years ago, he was addressing a gathering of locals during a significant anniversary celebration on the Island. He responded to a comment about how touching it was to see Bruce and Kerry holding hands after their daily lunch ritual, saying it was probably more about holding each other up than anything to do with love!

We cannot walk on the bustling Island roads without being stopped by grieving Island friends of Bruce and Kerry…people from all walks of life. Of course, they come with much appreciated offers of condolences and help if needed, but the overall theme is how much the community loved and respected this couple. Bruce was a bloke who was always busy, but he and Kerry had time to stop and chat with everyone. Their sincerity was deeply appreciated. Perhaps B and K didn’t know how much they affected these folk? Words like, ‘great bloke’, ‘stood up for me’, ‘had my back’, ‘always had time for my family’, ‘fought on the Board for us locals’ were common offerings from the community.

Bruce served as the Lord Howe Island Board’s deputy chair and spent considerable time keeping the bureaucrats honest. It makes me very proud to be related to such a great bloke.

Surely as we reflect on a life, and particularly one that was very, very well lived – as Bruce’s was – it’s got to be about what you leave behind and the mark you’ve made…the valuable and lasting difference you’ve effected. How we travel through life and treat others is paramount.

If this is the case, cheers to you Bruce: you lived an amazing life; you have brought a great deal of joy and laughter; you have influenced many of us for the better; and showed us the meaning of total love and companionship on a different level. You will be missed, mate, but we’ll never forget your cheeky grin, your stories, your sense of humour and of course, your cashmere sweaters.

RIP Bruce.